Talk and Touch! Did you ever hear the Paul Simon song, "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"? It's a humorous song about a not-so-funny subject (the break-up of Simon's marriage.) The song does make a good point about how to succeed in marriage.
The song's ultimate point is that once you make up your mind to do something, action is sure to follow. Whether you decide to leave or love, it's the decision that is most important. Once the decision is in your head, there are 50 ways you could do either.
You want to save your marriage? At least you know WHAT you want. The only question left is HOW. HOW will you restore your marriage?
It happen through ACTIONS. But what Actions?
I suggest trying a Talk Charge and a Touch Charge.
A Talk Charge is a 60 second positive verbal interaction with your spouse about a NON LOGISTICAL matter. It's a fun or frivolous chat. And you do NOT need your spouses' cooperation. If necessary, you talk, they listen. A voice mail can even work.
A Touch Charge is similar but it uses touch instead of talk. A Touch Charge is a loving physical gesture with your spouse. It's not foreplay or an advance for love making; it's just a warm touch for the sake of connection in that moment. If one of you is resistant, let me know and we can talk about that.
The point is this: if you can establish Right Habits and do them consistently--talk and touch everyday, for example, you will probably begin to feel more connected.
You can't turn your marriage around with one Herculean event. There's no gift you can give, favor you can o, or letter you can write. When your marriage is on the rocks, it's common to want to "microwave" it better. But you can't . There's no quick fix. There's no one thing you can do or say that will turn things around. It took you years to get into this mess; it's going to take time for you to get out of it. And what's the way out? Listen carefully.
Failed marriages eventually succeed because at least one spouse commits to doing SMALL THINGS in great ways over and extended period of time.
Do you want REAL change in your marriage. Then establish the RIGHT HABITS and do them CONSISTENTLY and genuinely. Talk and touch everyday. If you are interested in reading the 50 ways, go to my blog post following this one. My challenge to you is to pick 3 or 4 Talk Charge and Touch Charge out of the list you really want to focus on and do. REMINDER: Go to the next blog post to read the 50 ways...... Jim Covington
Tuesday, June 25, 2019
50 Examples of Talking and Touching
Fifty Ways to Talk and Touch.......I know, 50 ways is a lot. Some of them may feel too awkward. Choose 3 or 4 that you feel drawn to and begin practice with your mate until you are not just doing homework but actually feeling a connection. It may happen right away, or it may take a few days. Then come back and perhaps choose a couple of more ways to talk, touch, and connect with your spouse. Jim Covington
1. Express confidence in one of your spouse's decisions.
1. Express confidence in one of your spouse's decisions.
2. Share dessert with one fork.
3. What was "Your song" when you were dating? Call your spouse and sing it to them.
4. Surprise visit your spouses at their office or home and give them a kiss...and then leave.
5. Play footsie next time you sit together.
6. Learn a new joke today and share it with your spouse.
7. Ask how your spouse's day went....and really listen.
8. Kiss your spouse upon waking.
9. Kiss your spouse before sleeping.
10. Caress your spouses' hand.
11. Touch your spouse's cheek or hand while driving.
' 12. Rub shoulders next time you sit next to each other.
13. Sit on your spouse's lap or sit them on yours.
14. Compliment something your spouse is wearing.
15. Call your spouse out of the blue to them them know you are thinking of them.
16. Give your spouse a neck or shoulder massage.
17. Share a story from the news or your day that you though was interesting.
18. What about dancing before dinner? No one's looking.
19. Tell your spouse that if you had to do it all over again you'd choose them.
20. Share a problem--thank your spouse for their concern.
21. Play with your spouse's hair while talking in bed.
22. Fall asleep holding hands.
23. Remind your spouse to drive safely next time they leave the house.
24. Call you spouse at work with the latest news.
25. Have a tickle "fight".
26. Say "I'm sorry" about a mistake your recently mad.
27. Think of 3 ways your spouse had made you a better person...tell them now.
28. Compliment your spouse on your favorite physical trait.
29. Play Twister and let yourself laugh out loud.
30. Look at your spouse when they are unaware of your gaze...share your feelings.
31. Share what you most admire about your spouse.
32. Have a "remember when?" moment.
33. Thank your spouse for helping you through a challenging time in your life.
34. Find a reason to touch your spouse when you are in the same room.
35. Dig out the wedding album and reminisce.
36. Hold hands under the table.
37. Brush you mate's hair out of his/her eyes.
38. Straighten his tie, being sure to touch him with love.
39. Button or zip her dress, being sure to touch her with love.
40. Knead the same dough together.
41. Kiss in the elevator when no one is looking.
42. Express confidence in your spouse's ability to over come a problem.
43. Listen to your spouse's worries--ask how you can help.
44. Make your spouse's lunch for the day ...deliver it with a kiss.
45. Send your spouse a fax with your special "code words" for I Love You!
46. Turn off your spouse's alarm clock...wake them with a message.
47. Kiss the back of your spouse's neck while he/she is reading.
48. Before parting tell your spouse you can't wait to see him/her again.
49. An extra hug for no reason at all never hurt anyone.
50. "Spoon" your mate while sleeping.
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